de souza Imperialism

2011-12-31T14:26:00.000-08:00

its the new year. 2012.

who would have guessed. me working my butt off at one of the largest media firms in singapore. i have many people to be appreciative for including the father from above. he sends me people at every step of the way, to guide to nurture and learn from and most importantly to show me a new perspective.

I have been thinking about whats next for the past couple of weeks now. looking at who i am, whats happening and what are the options but they seem to be clouded. it was pretty simple growing up. study as hard, go into the army and study somemore and work. then what?

is it all there is to it. i hope not. i wrote in a birthday message to kai, "anything is possible, all you need is desire" it sounds great, ideal and at the same time downright fluffy. change has got to start somewhere.

ive got many unanswered questions still in my head. the what and the how ones. it scares the shit out of me.

on a side, my dreams have taken the front seat. it makes all this useless toying around with matters of the heart seem so trivial. its all a distraction. a nice one at times. adios until i not know when.

2011-03-21T10:48:00.000-07:00

2010 has come and gone its now 2011. a quater way through actually. im done with curtin. im moving to a new phase in life. the one i will be stuck with for the majority of my life. i cant wait to earn though.

but thats not the issue now. the issue now, is that shes in europe. too far away. gone for another 8 days, not counting the number of days it would take for her to actually meet me.

i dont want to seem desperate, i thought i could handle it. but it seems my ability to distract myself isnt as good as it used to be. we never know a good thing until its gone.

2010-11-02T12:11:00.000-07:00

i wanna do so many things but, i need people to commit too.

- form a band and perform.
- write my own song
-shoot another music video
-write and direct a short film.
-start the whampoa independent

2010-07-09T05:31:00.000-07:00

it really kills me you know, to see you like that. I dont know why its so hard to look the other way. I cant stop beating myself up over the fact that its my fault. Its my fault your in this state. If i never had met you. If i had never had said those three words. If i never held your hand. Life would have been simpler. It wont come to an ultimatum. Its either this or that.

I feel guilty. Like a just dumped a load in a can and the flush wont work. Pity the person who has to clean it up. Pity the next occupant. Im guess im a cold rock. Heartless. Emotionless. Carefree.

We humans are silly creatures. We put ourselves through stuff well knowing its going to be tough. Well knowing its shitty. Knowing we dont know what to do when shit hits the fan. I guess im lucky to have seen life gone right. I guess your unlucky to have not. Your scarred. Torn. Afraid. Thats why hate. Thats why your angry.

Dont encourage this self fulfiling prophecy of failure and death. Dont take this world so seriously. There are so many things wrong with this world. Why be part of the things that make this world a place to hate.

I dont believe to be any expert. I dont believe to know. I only know what ive seen, what ive experienced what i learnt from the ones before. It isnt a mathematical formula but it aint a hoax. There is this thing to family and i have much belief in it.

I pray for you.

2010-06-24T14:33:00.000-07:00

i just had been in the mood to think about wedding photography. thinking about my current situation with bernie boy honestly frustrates me. he used me fro two weddings, got me to teach him wireless flash. comes to me for exposure advise. screws up the photo editing and then calls me and tells me the couple doesnt like the shots? like its my fault. come one free labour. after the first half of the first wedding, i was teaching u more about photography. now you are gonna pay me $200 for every other wedding? even after giving much discount to an events company i could still pull $600 bucks for 2 and a half days work. converted to "AD" timings thats, about 2 full wedding days. and wedding photography is supposed to be better paid? gosh this industry is going to be hard to break into, with cocks offering to do weddings for $200 bucks a pop. every damn thing in. succkas with kit lenses and plastic 500ds or nikon d60s.

okay nothing against such cameras or people who use them but, please dont spoil market. i just feel a kind of mix up of angry and frustrated and cluless at the moment. its like chilli and garlic grinded up but then u go ahead and add ice-cream. u know its wrong and u dont know how to fix it.

on a random note. ive been watching top gear so much im considering becoming a motoring journalist. hurrah!

tomorrow or rather today is the day before take off. in fact in about 24 hours from now, i will be at changi airport. waiting for my flight to hanoi. good luck to me.

2010-06-22T09:39:00.000-07:00

ive been away for awhile now,

many many things have happened since the last post.

- i have finally ORDed
- going to study at curtin singapore. im terribly terribly afraid of it. honestly, im scared shit about whats gonna happen.
- im going for my vietnam trip this sat. very excited to say the least. its gonna be funny when someday i will come back and read this having already gone for the trip.

status quo could be better but i aint going to be demanding. im a generally easily satisfied person. this doesnt mean i settle. the word i believe is grateful. i dont loathe in how much life sucks, i embrace it as challenges i guess. there is no good without evil, no spring without winter, no night without day. if there werent any things we hated that life threw at us. how are we going to appreciate the simple pleasures and joys in life.

well i leave now probably coming back here like never. hahaha

2009-09-13T19:22:00.000-07:00

the last time this happened it was about a year ago. the passing of my grandfather G.edward. in recent years i really didnt have the opportunity to get the know the man, for reasons which are unimportant. i however did manage to see him twice before his passing. i remember walking into his flat, him lying there still. dead people generally look asleep.

today is the funeral. the last few days have been rather emotionally different from the previous encounter with death in the family. please do pray for his soul.

2009-07-31T11:26:00.000-07:00

ohh a month since the last entry. this week had seemed relatively shorter. however i fear for the week ahead. but i do know that the national day weekend is gonna be awesome cause im organising a party. boys and their booze. its just us men a bbq pit a swimming pool and loads of fun.

i met the debaters today after such a long time. its always a great fun to meet up with them. extremely engaging bunch. it was the finals of the inter-schools. ensued by dinner. i had to make it brief though. i promised shaun id help shoot the sji old boys reunion.

tomorrow is tennis swimming and lan with the boys. they are actually staying over at the moment. mm butch!

2009-07-03T21:58:00.000-07:00

ive come to realise how important certain groups of people have come to have grown in my life. and its time i learn to treasure them. it doesnt matter whether they know it or not. it matters to me that they are of a significance and it matters to me that i need to plough in effort to keep it that way.

even if it means giving up other wants. because its hell more fun this way.

im at a point in my life that, the friends i make now will probably be the same ones a decade down the road sitting having coffee or a beer or plain old shisha smoking if im still at it. the place dont matter, its the company that counts.

im happy with status quo.

2009-06-22T14:05:00.000-07:00

hello my name is de souza timothy martin. today is the start of my life. it may look very familiar. but its going to be different. i promise. its time i be who i wanna be. no point settling for less simply because i dont care enough to bother.

its a status quo plus plus. (and minus minus). i can understand the point of just not doing anything and just simply floating downstream. but i now believe that kind of idea is simply full of shit.

aim for the stars at least i will get the sky. first step? take the bus to camp and embrace it with open arms.

2009-06-10T11:23:00.000-07:00

am i confused with someone im not.

i know not who i am.

this is just some random train of thought.

i know not what i want.

im confused as never before

i know not what to do

my mind aches and my heart sore

i do now kneel in prayer

i seek your grace

powerful omnipotent, my maker

grant me in your heart a place.

amen.

2009-05-24T11:25:00.001-07:00

this birthday i must say has been above all other things, very enlightening. ive learnt alot about both other people and of myself. been able to quite accurately trace my steps backward.

somethings have resurfaced and some choose to remain down under covering themselves with layers of denial.

maybe these things hope that the self fulfilling prophecy theory is very much true. however ladies and gents its not what you say to others its about what you believe in your heart is how this one goes.

as usual my float down stream self is handling this problem. i think i need to go for a trade in for a go get the things i want/need self or at least get programme garang2.0 installed cause the previous version obviously isnt working.

i know im queer. haha awesome.

2009-05-17T11:46:00.001-07:00

NTU rejected me. i have an issue with it. why is the appeal an online one?! seriously i think thats screwy. i really die die wanna study locally. i have too many things going on to go anywhere else.

i think ive told too many people this that im starting to add pressure on me. i dare them to give me an interview. to me, i would only probably only accept them rejecting me if i get interviewed. as it is im one up on most applicants. at least what i believe.

i finally got a full framed machine. its awesome the perspective the colour the noise control. all darn fantastic. with a 20 prime on. people start to look miniscule if they stand too far away.

3 days of work then the long weekend. cheers to off n lieu!

2009-05-07T10:31:00.000-07:00

MAD MAD MAD TOWN! i have quite literally 2 halves. One is green and another without. and although i know im supposed to and should be concentrating on one of them. im somehow juggling both. given a choice of course i rather the life without the uniform.

but suck thumb. as far as possible i think if i dont break any rules im going to get along just fine. so what if i dont fit the stereotype. i did it my way. and im glad with that. im content. time spent outside the restricted area shouldnt be wasted resting and recharging. in fact i believe i have subscribed to the opposite. as long as i complete my job and meet the standards i dont see a need to excel.

next few days at giles peterson is going to be the bomb. im really excited. totally psyched. im flat broke as of now. haha. thats where im appreciative the SAF provides all 3 meals, accomadation and decent sanitation. i say decent by my standards. why of course we maintain it ourselves.

im glad at least now when people ask what im doing, my answer isnt just limited to of serving NS.

2009-05-04T11:05:00.000-07:00

*BANG!*

"one round away!!"

"SGT! i think i hit the target!"

"you think only ah. u got see your bullet hit and the target drop not?"

"Not so sure lei sgt. i saw something hit la. i think its mine. but it could be the idiot in the other bunk doing funny things."

"KNN! next time look properly, i told you already. shoot to kill. dont half way la."

"BUT SGT! i was doing everything right, rifle close to my body, eye inline with the scope, crosshair on the target. it was all going well until..."

"UNTIL WHAT. your balls burst is it?"

"no la...a sandfly bit me."

"aiyoh, nevermind, i think u still managed to do some damage. go and retry. make it count this time. and dont take forever understand"

"yes SGT!!"

2009-04-27T10:40:00.000-07:00

"IA IA!! SGT MY RIFLE IA!"

"NO la, you cock up dont blame rifle. pluck up your balls and shoot the the enemy!"

"But my platoon mates are in my arc then how? shoot them they injured or die how?"

"KNN! never practice properly at the range right. apply the correct technique, aim and squeeze the trigger, the moment you dont trust yourself confirm bobo shooter liao. cause no confidence equals panic station equals to poor technique and lousy aiming equals missed target, so wake up your idea understand before the enemy zhao!"

"Yes sgt! lemme just check clear and load first."

"kk faster i throw smoke for you already."

typical conversation btw sgt and his man.

2009-04-26T11:21:00.000-07:00

well your faith was strong but you needed proof
you saw her bathing on the roof
her beauty and the moonlight overthrew you
she tied you to her kitchen chair
she broke your throne and she cut your hair
and from your lips she drew the hallelujah

goosebumps everytime i play it

2009-04-22T04:40:00.000-07:00

i have not had my head to rest on a pillow since the 21st at about 10 am so its almost 36 hours of no sleep. And i feel kind of refreshed. Energy is directed only to essential functions such as work. My mind has no freedom to wonder. The snooze tonight is obviously going to seem to little. Not more than the recommended 7 hours. Tomorrow is going to be another day. I have officially picked up the nick name drug addict among the other 3 stripes. I couldnt care. My post ord plan is in motion. Yet i still live in the moment. I think thats awesome. Cause if you keep thinking ahead or looking back yous never going to get satisfied. Shit here i go again. Thinking too much.

2009-04-17T13:18:00.000-07:00

the green room was kind of a let down in a way. well we tried to make the best of it. thus it became awesome. hahah. rebelsuite is 2 weeks old. yay!

2009-04-16T10:53:00.000-07:00

lose myself to it all. work, play late nights. really late nights. lack of sleep. bloodshot eyes. all for fuck?

yeah i escape awhile. yeah i get high. dance to a couple of songs. escape it for a bit at nasrins. wrap myself with company dilusioned that life as i know it is on an even keel. whats scary?

its that time when you are trying to sleep. that couple of minutes just before you doze off. it used to be a simple thing. now the lonely seems to be the thins that creeps up on me. ive been having much time to think lately and it often eats me up. i dont even know wtf im typing now.

i used to be much colder. take some stupid feeliing crush it up and it just goes away. see what youve done to me. or at least the idea of you has? im mushed up. this is wrong. i think all this late nights, boozing, working is just an effort to distract. doomed to fail. i need to deal with this at the source get it off my shoulders and out in the open. i cant stand to remain in this status quo forever. nope.

i dont believe that anybody feels the way i do about you now. - wonderwall oasis.

2009-04-05T04:05:00.000-07:00

okay yes i know malaca photos were suppsosed to come out earlier but yeah. i didnt take very many either. it was fun in a relaxing sort of way. get way from it all.

the debaters from Sp from L2R laura dennis viha and marie.

tiger marie! its nice to see her smile. no la shes not that firece only when she debates do the claws come out.

whos is that boy i see staring straight back at me?

2009-04-03T04:14:00.000-07:00

the last time i blogged malacca road trip was but just a rough sketch of an idea. well it was awesome! probably could have done with more days but i aint complaining. due to the house renovation my stuff is all over the place so uploading photos and videos yes videos i took with my new camcorder, is going to take a little while longer. but pictures did turn out nice. not many though.

anyway. there is something in the works. something that i have to work really hard at. something i have to plough in my hard earned money but i think it will be worth it. i forsee a better return. its one of those ideas which JT and i have decided to chase once again. and we decided this at atirah once agian. a little 24hour indian muslim prata place off yck road not too far off from my house. we have a usual table. couple of things we decided there and have made it happen. our first step to make quite a bit of money using our photography skill with lifestyle.sg then to make our own shisha and our malacca trip. so our latest yet is our most adventurous yet. its called rebelsuite. its gotten off the ground already but needs alot of shaping still. i shall obviously be updating about the progress of my new baby right here.

2009-03-15T10:58:00.000-07:00

i said to my mother today as i walked with her along the busy aisles of the IT show. "what economic crisis?!?" she dittoed. she is not one for crowds unless its a good cause. actually me too! aha.

we went in and got out with what we wanted. ka-ching! it was great.

i wanna debate or at least watch people debate. i smell road trip! for mmu's competition. yay!

its going to be LEGEN...oh wait for it...i hope your not lactose intolerant cause the next part is DAIRY! haha :)

i <3 HIMYM!

2009-03-14T00:17:00.000-07:00

i think her last name must be scherbatsky.

2009-03-10T01:24:00.000-07:00

i really loved this old habit. everytime i step back into the fray i get reminded again and again of why i started doing this. this is from my latest adventure. at the reddot museum.

they are so kind as to rip me from my camera and take a photo with me.

2009-03-04T04:47:00.001-08:00

you know what, i do enjoy the life now as a spec, i do enjoy my life now not being a trainee anymore. so called less regimentation, more independence more responsibility with the chevron on my arm.

but i miss spec 2. i miss the group, the friends and the great times already. seeing the current batch makes me think back on how we were once like that. going through what they were going through.

its been mostly dates with the Z monster lately. especially during lunch. the heavy downpours dont help at all to make the mood even more lethargic.

nvm operation chevron tsunami!

2009-03-03T02:39:00.001-08:00

enjoy!

2009-02-28T11:15:00.000-08:00

i totally have forgotten the fun of just friends and a rented movie. thanks alman for the invite. it was awesome. AIGHT. haha. RESPECT.

i so want to get a bookcase of dvds just like that in my place next time.

2009-02-19T20:57:00.000-08:00

yesterday was a blast man! my muscles are still aching. i took the bike out and covered about 15 clicks? from home to east coast to beach road and back.

the highlight though was the cable ski. 32 bucks an hour well spent. it felt good. what an experience.

i was reminded once again why i havent gone clubbing in a while. clubbing is meant for when you have free enrty otherwise paying for drinks can be a little sillly thing to do.

2009-02-18T10:12:00.000-08:00

i was just going through old posts. not of this blog but a blog i had closed down previously. and i have realised how ive changed as a blogger. i used to be more specific! more of a direct narrative of the days events and nearly to the point of doing an activity log.

i miss that so i shall try it agian. here goes.

it was quite literally a boring day for me as a whole. i rose to the buzzing of my phone but decided not to pick up and go back to sleep after discovering who it was on the other side. the dark side that is. got off the bed sometime closer to noon and decided to follow mummys orders to clean and tidy up my room.

the highlight of the afternoon was fixing myself lunch. and i had been craving corned beef eversince emmanuel cooked some at field camp. so i chucked a can into the frying pan together with some instant noodles stir fried added some pepper and voila!

was essentially online killing time trying to organise something in the evening but to no avail. how sad. i ended up meeting jt for a chat later on.

discussing topics from photoshoots, to cars to the army to helping one of the guys with a girl he just met and is trying to chase amongst other things which reminded me of why i enjoyed his company much. adventurous, garang and totally crude. i got back in touch with my testosterone. fantastic.

we shouldnt be making such decisions the way we choose a handphone or a bag or a new pair of shoes. simply because qualities can be replaced and can change. its only interesting because we dont have it. but you know youve chosen wisely when it sticks.

2009-02-18T01:20:00.001-08:00

agreed mister bacha im tired of being just the friend.

2009-02-16T23:03:00.000-08:00

it feels weird having block leave. haha. i just didnt really wanna get out of bed today. i promise after this it time to go out and be about. i have a few things to complete by the end of the week and a few highlights.

ie:

sew uniform
do the pictures
spec 2 video
shisha! haha.

i wanna fix the bicycle and go riding today. i really miss that. as soon as the photos are uploaded i will be off.

2009-02-12T02:46:00.000-08:00

FIELD CAMP IS OVER MUAHAHA! my last field camp as a trainee. wooheee. damn it would have been nice to cheong suah properly. i didnt even do fire and movement. it was a dramatic charge to the objective. crazy stuff.

ive been inspired to do more field cooking though. maggi mee and corned beef. ohh lala! nothing beats warm food after a day of cheong suah!

tomorrow clear up the bunk and move everything upstairs! cause as an instructor to be i need not move my stuff out of smti. cool. looks like im stuck at nee soon for another year and a half i guess.

block leave next week!!!!

2009-02-08T05:52:00.000-08:00

saturday was awesome simply because it was totally spontaneous. i absolutely loved it. besides the fact nothing went according to plan, including me getting my 35f2 anf going JB. i ended up playing cards in sentosa and riding gmax! woohooo! awesome.

btw ive started planning for my 21st. haha

2009-02-03T04:12:00.000-08:00

its 13 days to the last day of my spec 2 course. the past 2 and a half months have been exciting, reveling and thoroughly fun. i started out this course unsure if i was even fit to be a medic. i kept asking myself why they would trust me with someones life. but after all the training. im feeling more confident, a tad more sure that if i would be able to apply what ive learnt during a real life situation.

and i managed to secure an instructor role. it was something i had wanted to do from the beginning. quite possibly a reflex action to not wanting to be in the field. looks like i will be coming back to smti for the rest of my national slavery.

ive just applied for ntus comms studies as well. im hoping i get in. ive just decided to save myself and my parents the headache of going overseas. it never really appealed a great much to me anyway.

aiyah faster ORD LA

2008-12-12T11:53:00.000-08:00

its a 65 % on the LC scale. woohoo. tim you just need to pluck up your balls and do it!

2008-12-12T01:22:00.000-08:00

crap man. mr chua has been stirring my head with many ideas and possibilities. things i thought i couldnt do but should be doing because its my blardy future. it started with the wpja website (wedding photojournalist assoc) kelvin koh, our very own singaporean photographer managed a a second in this quaters competition. come to think of it. as i looked through the entered photos. i aint that far. its all about just more practise. hopefully la!

next week i have 4 tests!!! but i guess i will just cross my fingers and wing it.shouldnt be that hard.

on another note, im still posting my photos on my livejournal. come check em out.

2008-11-19T04:36:00.000-08:00

Being a medic spec seriously has begun to look a whole lot nicer. compared to when staff seah had ,mentioned it to me. really. today we took another course on cpr. fun fun fun. and ive slowly begun to believe what people have been telling me all along. that its a life skill. its something you would never forget. even if u get rusty or what not, the basic principles stay.

okay im in no way accepting this vocation just because its per say (in more politically correct words) less physically demanding than most other cheong suah vocations.

another thing is this commander issue. im starting to feel it a little more. simply because we have like medic "men" from, the basic medic course in the same wing. there are differences lar. cool stuff.

2008-10-25T06:46:00.000-07:00

finally! ex grandslam is over and done with. so ex gypsy 1&2 done, field camp and grandslam. this means that most of my key events are completed for bslc. im passing out in 3 weeks. hopefully with a corporal rank.

army life really changes you. i personally look at things differently. simple things like light, a bath and clean clothes. at the same time i believe my tolerance level has moved leaps and bounds ahead.

also making great friends with people in the bunk, from my section and getting to know my instructors a little better.

its been such a routine for me. 5 weeks have flown by and with every passing week i become more and more numb to the world. what happens in it. the people around me and the friends i grew up with. while everyone is moving on with life. im there, and as they say in the army "hentak kaki" moving yet not moving.

this stagnant moment i guess is a time for me to learn and make some small savings. (enough for my new babay hopefully plus some travelling cash if i wanna go anywhere post ord.)

sometimes i dont even know why i blog. its the same monotonous thing week in and out. and half the things i wanna say im afraid is not allowed. call me whatever u want. this is something im not willing to risk. its just book in. army army army for a week. the book out. saturday night is probably the variant. and then sunday is church and nanas place.

this week however is deepavali. yay! im probably going fishing sunday night. that should be fun. i really just need to stone for a bit. haha. and for some reason, i managed to escape guard duty. or at least it got postponed. thank goodness. (or rather whoever shifted it for me)

monday night back to camp. tuesday test! wednesday ippt. DIE! oh well alls good. alls a world a stage in the SAF and we are merely WAYANG KINGS!

2008-10-19T02:48:00.000-07:00

this was taken at my grandfathers thanksgiving lunch at the tavern. oh my gosh she and stefanie are damn cute. plus they make good audiences for me to do my old magic rubbish. they arent tricks cause tricks actually look good. mine are error filled. shes leaving this evening and shouldnt be back until christmas.

its been a whirl of a past 2 weeks. im sure especially for nana. it was already a little weird today without him sitting there in his chair in the living room and at the head of the lunch table. however discreet he were last time, he made a difference. to his wife, his children and grand children. i wished stafanie and desiree would have gotten to know grandad the way my brther and i did.

2008-10-04T05:36:00.000-07:00

if a picture speaks a thousand words. what does this one say?

2008-09-30T12:08:00.000-07:00

my last post was POP. its been a couple of weeks since then. and im now on my next phase of army life. SISPEC (school of infantry specialists) the aim here of course is to train me to become a "commander" however to be honest its just a course for me to earn more "money".

to me army is something i have to do anyway. so why dont make the most out of it. ie get as much money from the govt as possible. some may just shrug and call me money minded. but ultimately its what makes this earth spin round (speaking from a totally secular point of view, of course)

anyway from the relaxed bronco to the xiong bravo. crap...what luck. i run everyday at least 3 clicks. and not in pt shoes but in my leather boots. the training is tough, extensive and holistic. im still pondering how i will survive this. i cant actually visualise myself taking on the training. being the only fat boy amongst the skinnys and the super fit is truely an uphill task.

so far i find my sgts damn funny. the can/will be strict. but deep down they have very nteresting characters, styles and little nitpicks.

book outs are very special. just came back from a night out with matt, dave, marcus, stace, rachel, bona. debbie came awhile. nothing but good music, company and some good ol fashioned drinks.

2008-09-05T10:13:00.000-07:00

okay its technically my last book out as a group. the next one will be with my parents of course during POP. BMT has been a blast. it has been a zip by. how i wish seriously it could go on. haha. i think im going to miss it. you never know what u have untill its gone. until you are deprived of it.

but its okay. i will probably somehow some time during my life as a nsf or reservist go back to the little island of tekong. i wont expect to see familiar faces. probably ord by then. who knows.

looking very much forward to whatever the path the SAF has/is going to pick for me. i think worrying about it isnt going to make it any better. staying positive however will have its benefits. soon i can shout POP loh!!! next will be ORD!

2008-08-24T02:00:00.000-07:00

this weekend was a whirl man. after kenna pangseh. haha! i found myself at zouk on saturday night. it been seriously been a while since i came back to that scene again. the last time was probably what 2-3 months ago. even then it felt strange taking out cash.

there was some nus arts bash thing which i went for and stayed on for phuture. music started getting good around 1 plus. the dancing was good. and my pocket was emptied. stuck to my budget most importantly.

then this morning i made my way back to the driving school to learn riding this time. the motorcycle is synonymous with the word dangerous. but yeah. hmmm its just something i wanna do i guess. even if i end up not getting a bike. riding is fun. a lot less tiring then cycling. haha! best part was a i met a pc from falcon company also learning.

book in soon argh. back to the army!

2008-08-15T23:06:00.000-07:00

whoah have not updated man. time to post up a recent family photo!

one captain, a third sergeant and a zhao recruit. not forgeting the commander in chief, mum.

2008-08-11T09:39:00.000-07:00

this years national day has truely been about national pride. about duty to your nation. about patriotism. why so you may ask.

well even the Bible says the greatest thing one can do is to lay down ones' life for a friend. i did something just one runk below that. i layed down my public holiday for my nation. not only was it for 24hrs, its was a long,draggy and utterly boring 24hours. 2 points they called it. i rather they just 2x my pay. yeah right!

well, since being enlisted under NS, which i have heard some interesting longer versions of the acronyms such as "national slavery" (but totally should be condeming and shunning or even going to the extent of spitting on such fools who created such terminoligy), i believe i have become more patriotic. somehow what they spoon feed us does make some logical sense. it does have depth. and it does have an ultimate goal. after analysis, is justifiable. as much as we like to complain. i think singaporeans have had it good. and have been desensitised to the security and prosperity we enjoy. (i know it sounds like something out of the textbook.)its the seeing illusions of greener pastures on the otherside syndrome.

well this national day, i hope singapore can grow closer towards what we simply mutter off during the pledge. its come pretty darn far. and we look ahead to the future.

2008-08-01T01:24:00.000-07:00

Early book out this time round which means book back in early too! well friends often complain that army boys can only talk about the army when they book out. well, then what else do you expect us to talk about?? we live,breath,eat,drink SAF for at least 5 days a week. so yeah.

anyway back to the only topic im good at. my BMT, i just finished situational tests. which means no more jungle for BMT at least. phew. now all i have to worry about is SOC, IPPT, and the darned route marches. just completed 12 click. and its not as simple as a walk.

i think its all in the mind seriously. recently ive personally experienced heat injury and its subtle. you dont know until suddenly you deteriorate. damn scary.

anyway i look forward to range next week. cool!

visited Sp again. weird walking around school in the number 4. but oh well. caught up with quite a few people. nice to see the old familiar places and faces. picked up the so called "banned" issue of OOps mag. so at least i have a collection of the mag with my work in it.

2008-07-25T23:14:00.000-07:00

just another book out. had 2 weeks of confinement. 6 days field camp. where i did not shit for 6 whole freaking days.

trainign suddenly feels more millitarly like. or maybe its so progressive i dont feel it. if its so. then kudos to the enciks.

im just 4 pull ups away from a pass in ippt. that is what i cam into the army for and thats what i hope to acieve. i at least want silver before i ORD.

so far i guess i have lost some weight. and its driving me to loose more!

2008-07-05T04:26:00.000-07:00

its book out again. i believe i wont be getting so lucky as to being able to stay out this long for sometime. field camp is coming up and all. so treasuring time out. best always to sleep on "army time"

anyway met up with the class people for a movie. a few left early cause the timing was rather screwed up. but oh well. i just wanna say that the show wanted is seriously awesome man. super testosterone movie! RAH!! glad i watched that over the will smith one. damn zai. got back late last night woke up early met the dudes from platoon 2 for some soccer at TP. shiok man! after not touching the ball for so long. took the chance to go for a ride too. so i took it as warm up and cooling down. totally on the different end as compared to what we do in the saf.

i finally feel a little tired. so just chilled out for the afternoon. watched army daze. yes i know how corny right. haha. i wanted to cath it. but i didnt realise some one had put it up on blardy youtube. Gosh.

tomorrow is fun fair! weee! haha. taking pictures. yay running the camera! shiok man. looking forward to next week. they promised it would be interesting.

2008-06-28T02:04:00.000-07:00

well its a later book out this time around and i have to book back in tomorrow. this week seemed to pass alot quicker due to the activities that actually filled our day as compared to the confinement week.

finally we got punished and did some pumping. among other things like the pull up regime. ah yess the sweet smell of a hard days work. feeling tired and having aching muscles. life in tekong has finally begun to take the shape of a soldiers life. next week the WO have promised a more hectic week. hopefully OT OT training will begin too.

my phone has honestly come in damn handy sia. i think making the investment was worth it. anyway. enjoying life while i can. haha. its definitely going to be a late night for me man. JT finally book out from commandos.

2008-06-20T20:17:00.000-07:00

its my first book out. it almost feels surreal here back in singapore. BMT is something most males go through. an instituition for national identity. as the 2IC of BMTC school one put it, there is nothing like 12 guys living together under one roof going through tough times enduring shit. sharing the toilet and enduring one anothers nonsense for such a period of time.

my past two weeks have been fun and relaxing to say the least. was talking to a past ninja company recruit from just 2 years ago. he seriously went through hell.

well in tekong just the weather alone is a factor. being one degree hotter due to less cloud cover can really make a whole lot of difference during foto drills training. your boots literall become a toaster oven for a bit.

the food i must say has been decent. im more of an anything goes kind of person. so i have no complains.

being in bronco company. the warrant officer company. the training style and approach is different to that of the usual officer ones. they input their experience to ensure max output with minimum effort. some may say slack. well i will let you know at the end of BMT.

POP is on the 20th of sept if im not wrong. a little early to think about that. but never too early to think about where and what i wanna do after BMT.

over all good times so far. haha

2008-05-28T09:48:00.001-07:00

oh gosh. tomorrow is graduation which means just one more day less until i conscript myself to serving the nation. i am going to miss this life. (particularly the part after internship)

so i shall make a list. a list of things that i believe i will mis doing. and i shall save myself brain matter and some time by writing them in no particular order.

1) making money.

ie: through photography. in that short one month i did manage to save up quite a bit of cash shooting. and i must say i enjoyed it. and i believe given more time i would be making even more. GOSH! diversifying of course into wedding amongst other things.

2) late nights

well with such a job my body clock has grown to my parents at least, out of whack. i see myself as a night person. and i sometimes wonder what people like about the day.
i will miss of course the night activities

-fishing
-crabbing
-supper
-breakfast
-lanning
-cycling

3) taking photos (in general)

life in tekong will limit me in doing this activity. unless by some fluke or pure dumb luck i start shooting for amry news. i will do my best to ensure this love doesnt die out.

4) friends

of course lar. i mean i guess i will see you guys on weekends right. but i will totally broke cause i will only have 200 bucks a month. my dad says my policy of saving 50% of my pay is a little garang.

and of course just plain freedom. i hope the nation makes my time invested there worthwhile. which i think it will.

2008-05-26T09:36:00.000-07:00

okay its been 10 days birthday has passed. well i did enjoy it. was your average birthday and already some people were talking to me about the one next year.

i think the best thing singapore can give me next year is a couple days of national service and a place at a local university. please oh please.

ive thought about it. yes it would be nice to go overseas, start a new life, drive cheap cars really fast. make new friends. but then i will be so far away from the things im familiar with. so far away from the things i have a stake in. they say change is good. alot of the people in my class are so excited to get out of this island. aiyah. im swaying between the two choices. i shall leave it as, cross the bridge when it gets there.

okay its my last 8 days i believe till i go to the army. when it will just be my rifle my buddy and me. and today caught a movie. a stupid one by the way. ive caught indiana jones too!

indiana jones really has a very strong scent of steven speilberg in it. its the alien thing. i cant stand it really.

anyway catch YANG SISTERS 2 on channel 5. im appearing tomorrow 27th april. im in a queue buying ice cream. haha.

2008-05-17T04:17:00.000-07:00

well its that time of year again. where people have an excuse for a wish list. haha!

so its time to make my birthday wishlist of material goods.

since i dont want to think that hard im only going to make it consist of 5 things.

1) the nikon d3 (oh come on like u didnt see this coming)

the latest release from nikon. it boasts alot of things that blows the competition away. i love the fact that its within a manageable budget (if i start saving now) haha. retail is around 7k but i think its gonna drop about 100 or 2 soon

2) iphone

i have always wanted this since i heard of its conception. it just oozes sexy. seriously. this looks like a potential post army phone! haha hopefully they would have fixed the bugs. retail: currently 700 without plan. but idk?

3) a new laptop please!

mine is failing and fast. its a slippery slope that cant be undone. rah! things these days arent made to last. so its either a thinkpad or a mac. i havent decided. both would be nice too

4) domke!

okay domke is essentially zai camera bag. its a sling bag made from canvas and kevlar. ie the stuff that stops bullets! my crumpler is getting too small everytime i look at it.

5) clothes

shit man i looked in my cupboard the other day and figured i need to buy some new stuff to wear. it was quite hilarious actually ive never felt that way before haha

2008-05-11T21:50:00.000-07:00

my week has been busy and damn tiring to be absolutely conservative. and the quote of the week is " the best drink is a free drink" i heard this while half alive at homeclub.

it started out with a damn solid paid shoot at one fullerton which was the launch of the new BMW 1 series. i got to met great people. even the tag to show that you are allowed in is cool. and of course who cant forget gthe open bar.

some cool pictures i took with MTV's utt and denise.

uber cool. then i headed down to homeclub for more fun. met steph. and i have seen this woman for i think about 5 years. so it was her cousins birthday and he opened 2 bottles of vodka. i had mine with redbull mixer. silly boy like me forgot. and yes forgot to eat. went home tipsy and nearly puking my inards.

anyway woke up saturday to shoot a womens rugby tournament at yck. that gave me a chance to take the 70-300 for a walk. but who would have guessed someone was using a 70-200 2.8 vr!!!! i was paying more attention to the lens. haha. maybe not. from there to cat class then rushed home bathed changed and went for work.

it was at an atas place called senso. or at least it looked expensive. it was my bosses boss birthday that i was covering. no pressure there.

i was damn shacked. clar had invited me for jasmines party. i wanted to go sia. i reached home to drop off my things to change and go...i dropped on the bed for 2 secs and i was gone. next thing i knew 2 am or soemthign like that. SHIT!!

anyway sunday was mothers day! lunch was at my nanas place. dinner was at sushi tei.
awesome. my mum likes jap food.

happy mothers day!

2008-05-06T20:22:00.000-07:00

yes after a couple of days of staying at home i went crabbing again! we had a new kaki this time. so fun plus i got new equiptment which apprently cathes both fish and crabs. hahaha

debates today on the motion thbt men are redundant. they are expecting me to man bash. and i saw jump down.

me: u dunno whats coming
viha: no, u dont know whats coming
me: shuddup im the prop
viha: (silence)

yay!

2008-05-04T08:31:00.000-07:00

The Square Root of 3

I’m sure that I will always be
A lonely number like root three

The three is all that’s good and right,
Why must my three keep out of sight
Beneath the vicious square root sign,
I wish instead I were a nine

For nine could thwart this evil trick,
with just some quick arithmetic

I know I’ll never see the sun, as 1.7321
Such is my reality, a sad irrationality

When hark! What is this I see,
Another square root of a three

As quietly co-waltzing by,
Together now we multiply
To form a number we prefer,
Rejoicing as an integer

We break free from our mortal bonds
With the wave of magic wands

Our square root signs become unglued
Your love for me has been renewed

taken from the hilarious movie harold and kumar escape from gbay!

absolutely awesome.

rah all my friends are flying away!!

2008-05-01T11:26:00.001-07:00

sleep hasnt looked this darn good in ages. i have counted in my head that i have not really slept for about 41 hrs. dont count 5 mins in the car in during journeys.

starting from 9 am on the 30th of april until now about 230 am on the 2nd of may!

this includes working - battling mambo crowds, playing 2 hours of badminton, watching iron man.

most would have muttered the word 'crazy' by the first para or at least thought it in their heads

2008-04-29T10:31:00.000-07:00

it was kind of weird today when i changed my msn nick to something like "i can feel it...my photos are actually going somewhere" and people thought they were physically going somewhere.

im like, no. they are improving. one thing is certain i do have phases and they are taher distinct. at the moment im in the no photoshop so lets use picasa stage. and ive said this many a time. im damn happy with the result.

and i feel like kicking myself cause i promised myself i would post up the aftermath photos of hacking the toilet and i didnt!! haha. sorry i guess tomorrow then!

2008-04-27T08:50:00.000-07:00

ah and so the weekend is over. passed by in a flash man. at least alot faster than weekdays. started out with friday at the Oops! back to school party.

thanks to fairuz i managed to get myself in through vip. cool stuff. so we were entitled to dree finger food. getting in i met a couple of old US trip friends. Jin Sun and bernie and gang. loved the photos i took. i cant believe i promised myself i wont go and take photos. but oh well. got lovely shots. gonna post soon!!

after which Jt and i left early about 9 and walked to this place somwhere in between boon keng and bugis mrt. i looked like i had a bath after that walk. but the food was hell worth it. and as JT would put it "5 dollar eat until cannnot breath" damn i should have taken some shots.

anyway saturday and sunday wizzed by with the usual antics in church. with every weekend army dawns closer and closer. SHIT!

next week im blardy cooped up at home. toilet being renovated. so i kenna arrow be jaga. i think i will be so bored i will probably be posting day by day updates with pictures!

2008-04-23T12:40:00.000-07:00

wow...so far one of the more fun parties i have been too. music gals and the works man. plus drinks.

and thats me toward the end of the night. i think i will never be able to justify to myself why i should pay for drinks ever again.

2008-04-20T10:42:00.000-07:00

i cant stop thinking of the army and how the blardy hell im going to get prepared for it. my Gosh! it just dawned on me that my birthday is coming too and its about time i celebrate it in a bigger fashion. it can be err kind of birthday slash goodbye soiree.

speaking of which was at the lee brothers place today. happy birthday mr gabriel lee. it was kind of awkward cause of the mixture of adults and younger people, but with friends around its alot easier.

put a couple of guys and an xbox together and u need not worry anymore. after the main horde of people left, the early birds who came first left last and we helped ourselves to reheated curry and beehoon. oh so delicious!

i think i wanna start writing a book called encounters with gman!

2008-04-17T11:03:00.000-07:00

and yes ladies and gentlemen i am goign to the army. officially on the 5th of june. that really is shitty.

i called up before going to hong kong to enquire when i was going in requesting if i could delay intake so i could go to australs. looks like not. i beleive there are only 2 outcomes of such phone calls. you get what u want, u get the exact oppposite.

i got the latter. crap. the lasy on the line told me they would get in touch with me in 3-5 working days. and hell yeah they did. within 5 days i received the dreaded thing.

bo pian. at least im not in commandos.

2008-04-15T10:33:00.000-07:00

she is town again. and its her 5th birthday.

credit to debbie for holding the camera and pressing the shutter.

2008-04-14T12:33:00.001-07:00

okay as promised photos from HK!

first night in hk. we stayed in a pretty central place.

me being me, i hate taking pictures of nothing. dont ask why. i like human in my photo! so my mum is in the bulk of them.

i went to thepeak and the sky was dull and grey thus shots are rubbish and thus they arent going to appear here.

my mum went on business so those are her colleagues.

baloons!!! lots of em and even baloons in baloons!!

before the 3d show. brilliant shot. i think anyway.

WAFFLE! i didnt realise it would come in such a kiddy plate!!

of course you cant go to HK and NOT BUY STUFF FOR THE CAMERA! thats a 12-24 f4 an sb800 and mbd80 grip. wish they were all for me.

last day of the trip doing quick shopping.

this was not posed...she was actually trying to figure out where to go. i could have helped but i decided to leave her alone for awhile to get that look i wanted.

2008-04-10T10:00:00.000-07:00

hello hello. its my second night here in hong kong. second time here as well. its about the same. but of course you get a different perspective when you are by yourself.

i got bored so i decided to take videos. this is a first for me. fun!

i went to go cheak out lenses at mongkok before going to the peak. dissapointed. firstly i thouht i was being smart by trying to get the sunset. silly me i was blocked by the mountain side i predicted the sunset on the wrongside. and then the fog was godlike. the closest i have seen was in the US where it looks like GOD erased that part of the world.

so here is my video from the peak.

seriously...the professional guy u saw in the video, he actually had to photoshop his clients and jump the subjects to a pre-taken photo. cause the background today was so bad.

cheers guys. update again tomorrow with videos from Disneyland. btw if ur wondering why no pictures? cause silly me didnt bring the cable. whereas the videos can be bluetoothed across. okay nikon new thing to put inot the d3x. bluetooth!!

2008-04-07T08:38:00.000-07:00

Its nice to going back to school today. seeing familiar faces and places. walking down roads that feel all too familiar. it was brainless navigation as if i could see my whole journey in my head even before i began to walk. still can remember the first few weeks at SP. scary shit. couldnt tell head from tail.

ah the MRT. i dunno why but tim loves reflections.

going back again tomorrow to give back. covering the FOP for them. but only for a day cause im flying away again. this time im off to the land of russel peters more famous accents. hong kong. santa tim has a long list of presents to fulfill for his fellow photographers cause lenses are rather cheaper there.

2008-04-05T11:39:00.000-07:00

okay i finally finally figured out LJ. let me simply say its really complicated. once figured out...then its not too bad lar. but its rather restrictive in that sense.

go check it out

but to be fair. once i got into the groove everything kind of fell into place. however i feel blogger is still more flexible. so have an Lj. the name sounds more zai lar. blogger has this pre-teen conotation. why? i dunno. dont ask. haha.

so moving on to the actual post.

ive been hearing alot about this but when u see free booze its very different from people talking bout it. 3 different events. 3 different types of drinks.

film festival-->wine
some music festival launch-->heinekin and chivas
zouk f1 party--> champagne.

ohh la la!!

2008-04-03T09:30:00.000-07:00

haha banner change. thats a picture of my namecard by the way, did it while i was in bangkok and i think i got duped. well life moves on.

2008-04-02T06:50:00.000-07:00

5 reasons why catching crabs is better than "catching" girls.

1. crabbing is all about OTOT (own time own target). they dont have "that time of the month"

2. crabs are easily pleased. all it takes are a couple of fish.

3. upgrade the "bait" and crabs wont get suspicious. they will love you more.

4. crabs wont whine about how your ignoring them for other crabs.

5. crabs wont care if i couldnt think of the last reason.

cheers.

2008-04-01T00:57:00.000-07:00

oh my gosh. i just landed a job. shooting feelance photography for a certain website. (one of them clubing ones) not bad of a deal. 45 bucks an hour plus transport.

well the aim here ladies and gents is to earn me some pocket money. well i have oversimplified it to a vicious cycle. photography equiptment-->job-->money---> more equiptment. of course tools are no substitute for skill. but its fun. aim is still d3 after army. SAVE NOW!!

well since i have only myself to spend on, that shouldnt be too hard would it.

oh yeah i started another "blog" to act as my "portfolio"

some people think the name is sissy. well i dont, thats why i used it.

doodlingwithlight.livejournal.com oh oh and let me take this opportunity to advertise.

if you need a photgrapher please give me a buzz via email or my handphone. im sure i can work out a deal. cheers

2008-03-27T00:38:00.000-07:00

pictures up.

At the bangkok airport on our first day. wow wee!!!

this is probably the only picture of me. i took it myself some more. hahaha

the fisheye lense rocks baby. this lady was there from the time we left until the time we came back.

AHHHH....MBK just a stones trhow away.

lunch on the first day. yummy. food portions there seemed a little too small for my tummy. and everyone else as well. we always had 2 portions.

i dont think he actually bought that particular pair. haha. love the look though

platinum shopping centre. heaven! below is the result of people who enter. everyone walsk out looking like that.

the church of the holy redeemer.

rich place. they have a website. go google it. this was where i went for palm sunday mass.

2008-03-19T12:31:00.000-07:00

Home sweet home SINGAPORE, there are so many things i miss. honestly. but then would have loved to stay there longer too.

well i went there with like an 8 or 9 kgs and came nack with 20. thats the amount of shopping i did. SPAM. singaporeans are like birds, everything want cheap cheap.

i went in there with the mindset of small price big volume. most of the stuff i bought were between 150 to 200. my biggest ticket item was my watch. which is oh so beautiful. omega speedmaster. brilliant stuff.

the taxi situation there makes singapores one look amish. from the way the drivers drive the vehicle to the touting to the offers for "ladies" blatantly on the street. how cultural.

what i would miss is the tuk tuk. so blardy fun to take. and of course just walking the night markets. they are so huge, u can never cover everything.

next post: PICTURES!!!

2008-03-12T17:15:00.000-07:00

Gear Shift.

it really is. at the moment it feels like the cluth is in. the cra is free wheeling. i just float downstream.

i just had something i have not had the luxury of enjoying since work started. a really nice home cooked meal. not just by anyone. but my sweet old nana. been visiting my grandad lately. he isnt too well. its just age. as a younger lad i have always seen my grandad as a pillar of strength. he used to go trips overseas and do all sorts of things. at 80 years old. in my little opinion that is an achievement. however in just 2 short years i think his health has caught up with him. he hasnt lost his humour though.

got my new crumpler yesterday. selling my backpack today for a grandtotal gain/loss of ZERO. Cut my hair at toni and guy. for absolutely free. i feel like a cheapo right about now. but then again, i have an eye for a good deal.

And as i said. the car is inbetween the gears. i have got a feeling its going to change up soon. at least for the thailand trip.

speaking of which i am all set to go. and i am getting a fish eye lense to bring along. weee.

2008-03-09T20:28:00.001-07:00

finally at last. i am free! i dont have to worry about the call time is or how much sleep i am going to get. last day of work was yesterday. so last night i made my bed as comfortable as possible, let down the blinds so i wont see the sun in the morning and turned off my phone.

and i still woke up at 750 am!!! but i feel a flu coming on man. i think it was that 1 km run out in the rain, heavy rain i might add to an already tired body. the cab ride made it worst. i was literally shivering. luckily the next location was the hotel room where i made use of towels and the hair dryer to help me warm up.

the last 2 days seemed longer than it should have. it seemed more tiring than it should have. i was more preoccupied with tieing up loose ends that i hardly had time to see what was going on.

production has thought me couple of things, one, how damn good it feels to have a day off. and secondly principles. principles are the stuff one is made of man. it is what defines an actor from a professional. defines how on behaves. people are all like teabags. why?

because we only know what kind of tea they are when put in hot water.

2008-03-05T19:54:00.000-08:00

so the plan for some serious relaxation has begun! although a little prematurely. haha. a little bopred yesterday evening. even though we were up practically the whole night playing wii and having supper. i managed to catch some sleep from about 4 to 8. not too bad la. thats the usual number of hours.

funny thing. i decided to go for a bike ride. took out dads bike and ended up working my way to tampines then to simei and then down to bedok, frankel, eunos and finally back home. all in the span of about 2 hours. call me crazy but i thought it was a blast.

well last 3 days of work. im blardy working saturday and sunday AGAIN!! plus i have to submit my claims. and wrap this thing up before i go off to thailand. yay shopping!

does anyone have a video camera i can borrow? shooting a short film. willing to compensate in terms of a free lunch/dinner. lol.

2008-03-03T00:00:00.000-08:00

ice-skating from my previous day off. well i didnt actaully ice-skate. cause i went up to pick up a couple of things so i ended up going a little later. oh well.

never look down on the macro function of PnS!

mr teng making his debut as a model. taken with the ixus and used colour accent. love it.

then of course there is this weeks off day. or rather post-work day. haha. joined a small little gathering at timbre. the one at boat quay for some great fun and music.

i must say, the 1.4 has been a god sent design. check out the balls in the background. awesome. best part? shot at iso 200!

only one problem when shooting at 1.4. group pictures are a little bit of a no no. because they end up like this.

but when one frames it right, and coupled together with a game enough subject. beautiful.

i swear japanese girls are crazy. this one at least. oh yeah did i mention, these are out of camera. no ps.

ah one for memory lane.

2008-03-02T08:05:00.001-08:00

14 hour work days means timmy is getting half of what macdonalds pays and half the amount of sleep needed per day.

well looking forward to the 9th. finally shooting will be over and i can move on with life. honestly sometimes i dont have enough time to think.

so i will be a very happy person once i get to do some serious relaxing. haha i know how oxymoronic that sounds but yeah. off to thailand on the 15th. and dont worry will try to spare the shutter.

i know i owe photos. wait awhile please. speaking of photos, i bought one of them stick on albums with a black backing. cool.

cheers
cath you later

2008-02-25T21:19:00.000-08:00

okay i think i need to put up some pictures of what work has been about.

early mornings. the first day of outdoor i reported to office at 5 am. captured the beautiful sky. nice.

its also about the people you meet. the cast and crew who have been colourful in their own right.

by the way that is kym ngs chair he is sitting on and he is covering up the 2 "ss".

not forgetting of course the people who crack their heads after the days work is done to prepare for the next day!

well will be putting up more. sigh just a few more days. my parents mentioned to me that their colleagues were mentioning that Ny is the place to be to study film. well need to think more.

2008-02-23T03:10:00.000-08:00

its one thing to be a camera man and another to be a photographer. i came a little closure today with my first model shoot. although i borrowed JTs d200. and its not like shooting classmates or friends or colleagues. when you have deal or no deal girls standing in front of you in a studio with expensive equiptment which you have to pay for, its a whole different ball game ladies and gents.

got one of the other photographers to take this. will be posting up the ones i took soon. as soon as i get my hands on them.

haha really enjoyed myself and had a great learning experience.

2008-02-21T09:15:00.000-08:00

nah another one from the oops chalet. well out door shoots have started. crazy man! been talking to the cast a little more. i think production work is seriously damn funny. tiring. but fun. learnt alot. still learning. and i had my little cameo today!! haha so watch out for ep 8 when it come out in may okay? i think i will look absolutely retarded. hahahaha.

this is clars little cameo. she had to play a waitress. whoopteedoo. and beleive it or not this was taken with ALL NATURAL LIGHTING!! no flash or shit. haha i also cannot believe.

*crap why on photoshop can make it come online so pale!! rah!

2008-02-11T19:26:00.000-08:00

I am Blardy OFF TODAY!!! wooohoo. BUT I CANT GO SHOOTING! why?? farking nikon is too slow with my camera. Shit man. OOps asked me to cover a snow boarding event. BUT my camera is still in the service centre! I MISS IT!!

oh well guess im stuck to editing and moving along.

anyway here is another one from the chalet. about 8 i think in the morning the next day. jeremy and jt were fast asleep.

2008-02-10T20:03:00.000-08:00

finally some time to do some posting! slow release..more coming soon from the oops chalet.

2008-02-08T12:51:00.001-08:00

Its freaking 5 am in the morning. i cant sleep. why? just ended a seisha session about 2 hours ago. my heart is still pounding. haha. i think a little OD. Did a D&D (Dine and D...) yup. apparently Jt has been doing it a couple of times already.

took a step back and just realised im going on another travelling spree. im going bangkok for sure with the classmates. Js invited me to go sydney with him. which i absolutely dont mind. and plus i may end up at the atneo australs. SHIOK!!!

i think thats the best way to spend your last days before army. have short term plans. although working at dreamforest and earning more than 500 bucks a month seems the logical (both long and short term) this is to ensure i dont bum around and build a relationship there. However i think i have the rest of my life ahead of me to work so yeah. really considering my situation now.

anyway. not to brag but i, the non-chinese dude with no direct chinese relations has collected quite a bit of red packets and cleverly invested them in a nice little game we call inbetween. which i did manage to profit from. about 15 bucks. (sorry ah but to me thats quite a sum)

shit work in like 3 hours!!

2008-02-07T09:52:00.000-08:00

first and foremost. let me wish all of you all yellow people out there GXFC and a happy lunar new year. although coming from a brown person how lucky that wish might be. well its the thought that counts right.

Its been kind of an up and down kind of a thing these few days. from the oops chalet to ash "tuesday" to CNY today. tiring. at least i got my bike serviced. so thats good. rides like new now. changed quite a few things like the pedal, brake pads, tires. and reworked the the wiring. but i think i need to change my gears lar. the thing keeps slipping!

Damn i feel somethings missing. Cos i sent my camera for servicing. getting it cleaned and calibrated before the warranty is up. im not going to get it back for sometime lar.

Met the debaters for so called tea the other day. i must say after that i kind of miss everything. from the training to the prep to the people. i really miss the environment. the rush and the excitement from debating. i think i may be going australs this year. its being hosted by atneo. which means i get to go to manila!!! weee!!

okay back to reality. focus until the end of this month first then see what to do next.

2008-02-02T05:53:00.001-08:00

well post internship meeting was over. this meant another thing less for me to do for school. it was nice seeing all the lecturers again. And seeing the class one more time. U just know you are probably not going to see these people for a very long time maybe ever.

Anyway Shane mentioned an interesting proposition. Ive been thinking about it and for a long time now i really have wanted to do something on my own. be it my own little business or something where i actually done things at industry standard.

Now is a nice time to just sit back and really do something u have wanted to do. Let me just make a quick list.

- travel and shoot
- get my diving license
- motorcycle license
- shoot weddings for money!
- produce a short film (properly)
- come back as an alumnus and help out in debates
- get myself published. via photography or writing in anything lese but school magazines.
- go on a tv series marathon

at the moment these arent really possible due to work. i know im probably being paid the least per hour at the moment. i dont even dare to calculate. its practically 11 hr shoots 7 days a week. so the 3 interns are coming up with a schedule to who comes in at what time.

However i dont care. the work is satisfying. and im finally fulfilling what i intended to do for internship. although pre and post pro does make you appreciate actual production better.

damn tired going to sleep in! yay!

2008-01-31T07:42:00.000-08:00

So, shooting has started already! its going to be studio for the next about 12 days more or less. and the past 2 days have been me driving the production managers car all over the place.

forget what i said about manual cars. Its more of a once in awhile drive. I would take an auto any otther day. or as my AD put it, his name is Sam btw, "brainless driving". Seriously i know what im talking about. after being in the car from about 10 until about 6 in the evening making deliveries collecting stuff. I have come to the conclusion. Manual cars are best driven once in awhile and when you do drive them its absolutely fantastic.

Speaking of cars i have noticed the kind of cars that are around mediacorp. today 2 particularly caught my eye. one was a slk 280 merc. too bad it wasnt an AMG. It was going to be there today only i think. was going to be used for shooting purposes. Another one which i think will be there more on a regular basis is a blardy nice Alfa Romeo Spider. ive suddenly have had this crush on alfa romeos i think theyre sexy.

come one...sweet man

Well was thinking about it the other day, i think my ultimate job is to work at a car magazine, test drive them and shoot them. whoah best. But im not sure leh after today im not sure im a desk-bound kind of person.

I tried being the floor manager yesterday and today. Got to work with to different directors thus two different styles of directing which is totally different from what we did in school. school is like watered down stuff (no offence) but i think if i had a chance i would really would like to change the way stuff are taught to our DMC people. Although we really did not have the time to go into much depth.

My boss said something to me the other day and i really taught about it. She said im kind of like one of the directors that is currently working on my project. She said he started out kind of just like me. he moved on to be an AD then a DoP and now a director. crazy man. well future ahead still blurry.

SPEED VS $$ thats the equation at the moment. i have this little debate in my head at the moment and im kind of waitng for a tipping point.

2008-01-29T06:39:00.000-08:00

okay cool man. Things have been going good for me lately. Its that everything falls into place phase im going through at the moment.

Got an A for internship. Phew! Thank God. As i wrote in my Thank You cards...which btw i did mean. It was was a damn good experience and very good learning opportunity. seriously? school can only take you that far. i wish school was a little more versed in the way the industry does it.

Another thing, attitude was out and i saw my face plastered on the 4th page. i didnt realise they would put it that big! crazy. anyway my statements were phrased a little PRish but who cares. haha.

i just checked my cca records and i have like 80! haha i know some people have crazy numbers..i think i am at least above average lar.

i get to drive my production managers car. so yes i feel good. (cue music) so good! so good! only one little bump in the road. cant expect life to be perfect right. haha!

2008-01-25T22:42:00.000-08:00

Yay! officially my last day of internship was yesterday! well no jumps for joy as of yet. still go loads of work to do. and i just blardy realised that i may never get to see what im going to get involved in. (at least on tv) i will probbaly be serving our nation in (as uncyclopedia puts it) National Slavery.

Friday was imaging. when the mail was sent out i jumped at the blardy chance and volunteered my photography services. Its not everyday u get to photograph mediacorp artists, okay look at it this way, bay bay steps...one has to start somewhere. (somehow i skipped regular models and tfcds) hahaa! but i dont think im allowed to post them. i would be believe my company "owns" those pictures. so yeah. Anyway i just watched JUNO one more time. DAMN FREAKING NICE STORY. and i was discussing with my director the other day and he agrees with me. the female lead has this thing about her. shes hot man. NOT the drop dead georges type. No No. Something else cant really put my finger on it.

im also addicted to the soundtrack. simple and nice and easy to strumj along on the guitar as well!

enjoy...

2008-01-23T11:40:00.000-08:00

The prayer

When i woke up today
The first thing i decided to do was to pray
I held out my hands palms up
Almost like a little cup

I asked God about the future
But there was no revelation
I asked God about the past
And there was no explanation

My room stayed silent
Not a whisper in my ear
I awaited my answer
and the silence broke

A gentle breeze blew in
It sent a wave through my skin
like he was there
to take away my sin

I offered up the rest of the day
I asked God to make me strong
I asked God bless me with grace
And i ended my prayer with a smile on my face.

Sometimes words aren't needed. just a simple sign works wonders

2008-01-19T23:52:00.000-08:00

from how long ago...yes i know...

2008-01-19T23:04:00.000-08:00

The best way, ladies and gentleman, dudes and dudettes to unwind, relax and just plain chill. Is to pick up your rod, tackle and go fishing! Seriously. want to make it more fun? go night fishing.

Went down to punggol point with Jt on friday night. reached abt 930. just after the peak of high tide. damned we missed it. the breeze was blowing the night still and not a human being for a couple of clicks unless u count other fisherman and the couple with a tent pitched up int the corner up to no good. Well i dont blame them, it is a rather romantic place.

Nothing could be more romantic, the breeze in your face, no cars few people. Just you the sea and the boats moving by.

We coaught quite a big number of fish including 2 cat fish with a snake like tail which the fisherman commonly call "ah seng". Blardy scared of it because apparently it had a stinger which could land you in hospital.

The most ironic thing was that both these two fish (our largest) were caught not by the lines from either of our rods but the line we simply tied to the railing and threw off the edge. weird. at about 12 plus i decided to change hooks and from then on was reeling in fish every couple of seconds. i literally spent more time unhooking the fish and changing the bait then actually waiting for the fish to bite.

change of hook change of luck. but i was just cathcing small kuchi mulik ones. so after awhile like no fun lar. haha. left the place about 2 plus.

Few things i hate about it though. the fishy smell and the ants!! im still itching from it. until now!

2008-01-17T22:53:00.000-08:00

Omgness. have ben addicted to watching movies lately. went to the store and borrowed so many vcds. i would like to make a suggestion here. if u have not watched man of the year starring robbin williams. please go do so. ITS DAMN FUNNY! if you arent laughing, its your fault for being slow. the jokes are witty and very quick.

damn good movie with much depth as well. looking at the american political system as well.

allow me to qoute something from the movie which he said "Irreverence is the champion of liberty and its only sure defense." it is a quote of Mark twain and it really struck me.

Another one i watched was the bridge to terabithia. Sad la this one.

As most of my friends from school are changing down a gear getting ready to relac one corner. Clar and i are changing up. yes ladies and gents we are continuing our work here. hopefully all the way until i go army. Shooting is just about to start and the stress levels are rising. trying to get everything in order. Casts are coming in for auditions.

Clar and i had to clear out the wardrobe. we dealt with all kinds of old smelly clothing. thought us perseverance. at the same time we also tried on soem of the clothing (after working hours of course). will post pictures maybe hahaha!

2008-01-15T01:46:00.000-08:00

So many things have been happening over the new year. TIME TO UPDATE!!

okay first thing that happened, THE ABS soccer tournament. I shot this with a blardy manual focus lense. at 200 mm. was dizzy

Well and then my brother went in to army on the 12th. locked in for sometime...he kind of got me used to the idea of not seeing him due to all the partying he was doing. anyway managed this nice snapshot. i realised that black and white and loads of noise go hand in hand.

lol this is the one and only time u can bring ur camera into tekong.

Well relflective shit coming up.

was thinking about the future the other day. Thinking baout university thinking about what i wanted to do the rest of my life. What was i willing to give up. What was i willing to sacrifice. I WANT TO DRIVE AN M3 but taht would probably mean i would have to work in a job that i probably would not prefer but gets a higher pay.

Is life all about the material goods? to some maybe. some say money cant buy happiness but then again alot of families break up because of the lack of it. I believe by living within your means. needs before wants. a want is a luxury which should be a reward for hard work it should not be expected.

aiyah cross the bridge when i get there. typical me. okay anyway internship is ending!!! and i believe im going to continue to work here. its a great opportunity and im taking it damn it!

2008-01-06T22:19:00.000-08:00

Omg! finally more pictures. shit im lagging man. sory sorry. these are from xmas day. i freaking skipped lunch just to post these! haha

Now who says you cant take your own picture with a dslr!

2008-01-01T22:41:00.001-08:00

oh my goodness. christmas new year. all gone by. so quick!! come back!! haha. okay now its time for the labourious task of compiling editing photos. But thanks to my beautiful new lense i have less to do! rah. its super duper sharp and the colours and contrast come out damn nicely. Which means less work for me. yay.

So many stories about what happened. but i do promise pictures soon okay?

for now some photos to make you drooooooolll.

stefanie!

desiree!

these are just 2 of so many i took of them. they are damn photogenic lar.

in any case im organising a tfcd so anyone interested sms me or tag my board whichever side of the lens u want to be on.

2007-12-23T02:10:00.000-08:00

Well its Christmas time again!! yay. shopping wrapping and giving out presents. and of course the parties. i mean what would christmas be without them. being going for a few already.

this is the one at my uncles place with the family and friends.

desiree stefanie and aunty marian (their mummy).

more of stefanie...like her sister she likes posing for the camera.

desiree her godma (my mummy) and my brother.

my dad. playing the guitar for the singalong...and as he says "bullshitting" the chords as we went along.

and of course who can get the carol "o holy night" sung with much passion and gusto! led by my grandfather of course. the gentleman in the deep red on the left side.

2007-12-18T18:47:00.000-08:00

YOU TUBE VIDEOS OF STAR WARS LIGHT SABER FIGHT PART 1

PART 2 an actual planned fight!

2007-12-17T23:47:00.000-08:00

OKay the weekedn was crazy dudes! Started off in the morning. went shooting bustops with farah. for her work thingy. dunno if i will get paid not. anyway...had some fun.

this was a candid one. haha

then headed down to jons place for the debate bbq! well we had more pre cooked food than anything. but it was all fine and dandy. playing with jons lightsabers was damn cool shit. 199 Us each. wth! i want one!!

grp photo. taken with kartiks cam. i didnt bring mine.

Sunday was the big match and Xmas light up. See this justin. playing a fool during the practice in the day.

The show was quite good actually but not as full as before.

cast.

straight after cheong downstairs to watch the game. Well what can i say. If you dont take your chances your bound for doom. lucky devils they are! Its not like we played badly or anything. its okay its alright. at least shaun and i can agree. lets wait for ANC!!! then arsenal and chelski can jump down die.

2007-12-14T10:33:00.000-08:00

A few days late but i dont really care. i covered the launch of the new diploma in applied drama and pschology. not photography though. but i did bring my camera along to snap a few.

our new pricncipal. he looks a bit friendlier. i though he looks like a slimmer version of mr chet.

make up...

the actors

and some more...

and this Bnw one.

Well then off to school. grp picture and still incomplete.

i juts love dave tengs facial expression in this one.

cheers...have a good weekend i know i sure will.